I miss my students

This week my school system was supposed to return from Spring Break, but instead we are quarantined. Instead, I walked into my classroom with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes as I prepared to call my students and their families to check in with them.

I love a good break, and I think breaks are well deserved and necessary (ask any parent who is currently attempting to home school 😁). Breaks are good for students and teachers. But this break, well it sucked, and it continues to suck.

For me, a break allows me to rejuvenate, get refreshed, and get pumped back up for my return. I always look forward to a break, and I always look forward to returning from one. For me, my breaks are when I have my teacher “aha” moments. Whether that’s my daily break during my planning, my nightly break when the baby goes to bed, my weekend breaks, my holiday breaks, or my Fall, Winter, Spring, and Summer Breaks.

I am able to reflect on my teaching and how my instruction is reaching my students. It allows me to figure out how to extend one student’s learning while re-teaching the material to another student to match their learning style. It allows me to think about one student’s behavior and analyze their emotions and body language to determine what is going on in their world and how to approach the situation. It allows me to talk through tough conversations that I need to have with students before actually doing so. It allows me to plan celebrations and room transformations. It allows me to study the curriculum while learning to own the content and teach it to match my students’ learning styles.

While teachers are in the trenches, we often forget to reflect on our own teaching abilities, but, thankfully, breaks allow us to do that.

But this break, it is so different. Now, we are reflecting on the school year and what we taught and didn’t get to teach and what we are going to do to still keep in contact with our students until April 24. That’s FIVE.MORE.WEEKS! Most of us are clinging to those “aha” moments our students had, their terrible jokes, their smiles, their hugs, their laughs, their handshakes, and even their frustrating moments.

I’m praying for my students. I’m praying that they are making the most of this break. I’m praying that there is more sunshine than rain so that they may go outside and play. I’m praying that their bellies stay full. I’m praying that they are getting to rest at night. I'm praying that they are continuing to learn. I’m praying for grace. I’m praying that they are given grace and they are giving grace, as this is a very trying time. I pray that years down the road we get to look at this as a time when we got to do the things that we “never had time to do.”

Yesterday, as some of my grade level teachers and myself sat in the hallway (6ft. apart) to plan materials for our students, we talked through how we would feel if we were not allowed to return to school. Most of us said we would be absolutely heartbroken and definitely shed lots of tears. We don’t want to be without our students, we want to be in the trenches. As we talked, it was very prevalent that, although being in the trenches is tough, and these next 3 weeks we’re supposed to be deep in the trenches since testing is coming up, that we would do absolutely anything to get back our normal. We were all feeling yucky that we had to create material for our students instead of present it to them in our homes away from home, our classrooms.

There are so many things we want to tell our students. I want mine to know that I’m so proud of the accomplishments they have made this year. My 17, sweet thirdies have worked so, so hard this year. They have made such great growth, both academically and socially.

Thankfully, I teach third grade, so my students have two more years at my school, but I want them to have two more months in my classroom.

I pray often that we get to step back into our classroom and rejoice in each other’s presence. Oh, what a day that will be! We will never again take for granted the ability to go to school and learn.

I know we will come out stronger from this, but I miss them. I miss their morning greetings. I miss repeating myself 750 times a day. I miss being referred to as mama. I miss having my second run girls make sure the classroom is in perfect condition for us so we can come in and learn the next day. I miss all my leaders taking control of their jobs and never missing a beat, so that my focus is on educating them physically, emotionally, socially, and academically. I miss singing and dancing with them. I miss reading to them. I miss each one of them so fiercely. 

I miss number 1 coming in with his bright smile and forgetting where he puts everything.

I miss number 2’s many stories and how sweet of a friend she is to everyone.

I miss number 3’s energy and love for Kahoot.

I miss number 4 laughing at EVERYTHING.

I miss number 5’s calmness and ability to brighten everyone’s day.

I miss number 6’s assistance on everything.

I miss number 7’s efforts to try so hard to not smile, but we always make him.

I miss number 8’s sweet smile when I beg him to sing louder for us.

I miss number 9’s work habits and how great she is at Habit 3.

I miss number 10’s giggles and many, many stories that she has to share.  

I miss number 11 telling me she loves me each day as she goes to wait for her bus.

I miss number 12’s personality and how willing he is to do whatever he’s asked.

I miss number 13 asking me every day if I need ice and what else she can do so that I can go get Lewie from school because she knows how much I miss him.

I miss watching number 14 come out of her shell at recess while cheering with the girls.

I miss number 15 and her precious compliments.

I miss number 16's sense of humor and understanding of my sarcasm.

I miss watching number 17 grow each and every day, in each and every way.

Today I was supposed to walk in to my classroom and get ready to shake 17 little hands, look them in the eye, and ask them how their break was. Today, I was supposed to begin reading Peter Pan. Today I was supposed to watch their imaginations come to life with Wendy, John, Michael, Peter, and Tinker Bell. Today, I was supposed to introduce area. Today, I was supposed to teach my favorite science topic, weather. But today, I’m making plans on how I can see their sweet faces through a computer screen.

- Mrs. Lauren

2

Hey Mama

Shout out to my mama...she the real MVP.

I just have to brag on her because...well I can!

There is no one in this world that has a more giving heart than my mama. Many call her Honey, but only two of us have the blessing of calling her Mom. We are the lucky two.

She is Honey to all my students, her dinner table at church, and her beloved grandchildren. My brother chose that name for her and it fits her perfectly. She is as sweet as Honey.

I get so much joy in watching her be a grandmother to her 4 grandchildren (2 biological and 2 chosen). They all love their Honey and light up when they see her! She always has the most fun activities planned, which always involve learning whether they know it or not (she should have been a teacher!). She will do anything at the drop of the hat to make Natalie, Allison, Mary Carr, and Lewie happy.

She is like The Fairy Godmother as my boss says. Whatever needs to be done, she will make it happen. My mom and my husband spend countless hours helping me prepare the "home" for my students and myself for each new school year. She also spends time and money helping me prepare experiences for my students. Not fluffy lessons (that's a topic for a different day), but experiences that take learning to the next level. She comes to visit and always has a treat in hand for our (because they are hers, too) students. She makes a trip at the beginning of each school year to buy supplies and clothes for our future students. When a student is in need, the items they need magically appear just as a Fairy Godmother would do. My students know her as Honey, but they love when The Fairy Godmother visits.

State testing is coming up and just like every year, she will prepare a note for each student and a treat for each day. Seeing the reaction of my students when they get to experience the sweetness of Honey makes me realize just how much of her "sweet" she has given me and my brother over my 26 trips around the sun.

My mom loves so fiercely. She shows her fierce love through small acts of kindness, and it goes such a long way. She never expects anything in return, and it makes her the happiest person when she is able to do something for someone. She doesn't seek to be praised, she simply looks for the next person she can serve. I love to watch those react when they receive an act of kindness from her, but I revel in her response to serving others.

She always wants what is best for her children, our spouses, and her grandkids. She always has our best interest at heart. I look forward to our daily phone calls at 4:30 so that I can reflect on my day with her. When I'm in a dilemma and seek out her advice, she empathically listens and never tells me what to do but guides me to make the appropriate decision.

One of my favorite things about my mom is her relationship with my husband. They would both do anything for each other and anything for Lewie and myself. When Nick and I were in college, we spent most of our nights with my mom. We often talk about those memories...like when Mom learned how to "rap" and the many dance parties we had. We did and still do lots of things together. They are a perfect team when it comes to me. They worked so well together during my 28 hours of labor and were the best support I could have ever asked for. During all the intense labor, I was in awe of how seamless they were through all the bumps along the way...from epidural complications to Nick needing a snack 😂, they worked hand in hand to get Lewie here safely and to keep me healthy.

My mom feeds Nick's belly by always having a treat for him when he comes over, and Nick feeds my mom's soul with how he cares for Lewie and myself. Having a mom who loves your husband and a husband who loves your mom is quite an extraordinary thing. Their bond is so special to me.

I could go on and on about how amazing Honey is, but all that know her are already aware of that. I'm just so proud to be her daughter.

-Lauren

1

Hands Free Pumps

The whole time I was pregnant and someone asked me if I was going to breastfeed, I would tell them that I would give breastfeeding a fair shot, and if it worked...great, and if it didn't...that was okay too. 

It did take 5 very long days for my milk to come in (I did not go into labor naturally), but once I figured out that breastfeeding was going to work out, I knew I needed a plan for when I went back to work. I know there are laws in place that allow women to pump in peace, but I am a teacher. I didn't want someone to come in and cover my class while I went and made some liquid gold (I can be am controlling when it comes to my students). 

So, I came across two hands free breast pumps, the Willow 1.0 and the Elvie. I have included information about both pumps for you to make a choice based on what you are looking for in a hands free pump. I have also included the pros and cons of both pumps based on my experience with each one. 

Both of these pumps are purchased as two separate pumps, so they operate independently. When Lewie was sick and wasn't nursing great, I would wear one pump on one side while he nursed on the other. Otherwise, I would use them both at the same time. 

They both have different suction settings. On the Willow I never increased the suction. On the Elvie I have but didn't necessarily need to. On both pumps you can change to the letdown setting or they will automatically go into that setting after a certain time. 

Sizing

The Willow offers breast shield sizes in 24mm or 27mm. If you buy a milk container, you can get the 21mm breast shield. 

The Elvie offers breast shield sizes in 21mm, 24mm, and 28mm. The Elvie pump comes with 24mm and 28mm but you can purchase 21mm if that's the size you need. 

Storage

When I used the Willow 1.0, the milk bags held 4 oz. and when the bag was full, the pump automatically shut off. Then, I would have to remove the pump, and get the remaining milk into the bag, which was struggle sometimes. This would frequently happen during a letdown, so by the time I replaced the bag and put the pump back in I wouldn't produce but a few more drops of milk, and then I wasted a bag. However, now they have reusable milk containers, so this process would be a whole lot easier and less expensive. 

Elvie has 5 oz. bottles that store milk while you pump. Having that extra ounce was really all I needed. Occasionally the pump would shut off indicating that it was full, but I could start it back for a few moments, if needed, to let the letdown finish. The process of changing out bottles is very easy and quick. 

Care for Parts

The Willow only has 2 parts to clean. If you use the milk container, it adds a third part. These parts can also be put in the top rack of the dishwasher, but I always hand wash all of my pump parts. 

The Elvie has 5 parts to clean. Some of these parts are also pretty small. In addition, when using the parts after a wash, they must be completely dry in order for the pump to work.

Price

The cost of the Willow and Elvie is $500 unless you just want to purchase only one of the pumps. Insurance may cover these depending on what you have. You can also use your HSA or FSA to purchase them. I was not able to use either of these, but the investment was worth it, and I would definitely do it again if it meant I was able to be this successful in my BF journey. 

Apps

Both of these hands free pumps have apps that Bluetooth with the pumps. The app tells you the battery life, the suction setting, and how much milk you have pumped. It allows you to track your pump session and your milk output. 

Noise

The Willow is a quiet pump, while the Elvie is a silent pump. 

Battery

Both pumps take about 2 hours to charge. The Willow provides you with one charger while the Elvie provides you with 2, if you buy the double pump. I have found that the Willow has a longer battery life. I think you could get 4 pump sessions out of the Willow, while I can only get 3 out of the Elvie. 

Pros and Cons based on my experience

The Willow

Pros:

1. You can wear it anywhere and anytime. I never had any issues with it leaking or the milk being spilled no matter how active I was. 

2. It stores the milk for you, and syncs nicely with your phone.

3. It has few parts, and they are easy to clean and assemble. 

Cons:

1. If you have the 1.0 it can get costly. It was costing me $3 a day, on top of the $500 I initially spent. However, generation 2 and 3 has reusable milk containers that would eliminate the $3 a day cost. 

2. They are louder than the Elvie and are more noticeable. 

3. The suction was quite strong, and it took a while to get used to because it was uncomfortable at first. I realized later, that I was wearing the wrong size breast shield, but even my friends that were wearing the correct size said the suction was quite strong. It is definitely something you have to get used to. 

The Elvie

Pros:

1. You can reuse the parts, which saves $3 a day. With both pumps I made sure I had enough parts to last a whole day without washing between sessions, but I liked how these stored the milk in a reusable bottle.  

2. It is not noticeable and fits quite comfy. The Willow tended to stick out a little further. When I'm pumping with my Elvie, no one notices, and I am not uncomfortable.

3. It is a lot quieter. It makes very little sound. 

Cons:

1. It can leak if you lean over or are walking fast, causing the milk to slosh around. I haven't had this problem in a long time, but it can happen. 

2. The battery life will last for 3 pumps only. 

3. There are more parts to clean than the Willow and the breast shields and suction parts must be 100% dry before you can use it.  

BF is not for all. If is it not for you, know that it is okay. It is extremely hard. It's actually how I came to name my blog. Grit and Grace is exactly what it takes to BF. I have never in my life faced something so challenging. It takes a lot of research and trial and error to do what's right for you, your baby, and your family. I so wish we had more education/tips and tricks on BF at our fingertips. There are lots of places on social media that you can find to help you throughout your journey, but you really have to look and be open to different views. 

I have used both pumps in many different places while doing many different things. I pump frequently in the car. I pump daily at school. I have pumped multiple times during different conferences I have attended. I recently went to Broadway in downtown Nashville and listened to some good music on the rooftop of Kid Rock's place while pumping. I even took my pumps out while walking down Broadway and the people I was with never even noticed. No shame. 

In my opinion, these pumps don't limit what you can do while BF. I don't have any excuse that I can't go somewhere or do something because I have to pump. Pumping is so simple with the Willow or the Elvie. 

I carry my pumping bag around with me, and a lot of people just think it's a purse. 

Both pumps are great; it depends on what you are looking for/care about with a pump. As always, if you have any more questions about either pump or BF, please reach out!

-Lauren

1